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Port Royal Jamaican Beef Patty

Quick and cheerful, this is a decent sized snack for 85p. Clear cooking instructions, minimal packaging, maximum ease.

Putting it on the plate to microwave, it looks a bit thin – what you want to see is a patty packed with meat.

1 minute in the microwave, and the pastry comes out a bit damp and cloying, but to be fair the instructions recommend oven cooking and suggest that microwaving will impair the pastry.

End result: tastes pretty good… vaguely like a chilli con carne without the kidney beans. Nice beef mince and browned onion bits. Your girlfriend won’t want to kiss you afterwards.

Cheap, cheerful. Would have again.