Reviews by Chris Ashton

Heat Me, Eat Me: Doner Meat & Chips

Published on March 23rd, 2019 Eat Me
1 out of 5

The packaging-to-food ratio here is ridiculous – a great huge box that takes up most of your student freezer shelf. Inside the box is a tray, wrapped in plastic. Inside the tray, there are a handful of chips – also wrapped in plastic. It felt like the world’s worst pass-the-parcel game. The chips rest on… [Read More]

Koka Chicken flavour Instant Noodles

Published on March 16th, 2019 Koka
4 out of 5

This pot of one-serving instant noodles was so huge on the local B&M shelf that I had to give it a try. I could barely fit it in my food cupboard when I got home, which served as a good excuse to rip into it and eat it right away. The noodles look a little… [Read More]

Tesco Hearty Food Co: 4 Bean & Cheese Melts

Published on March 9th, 2019 Hearty Food Co
2 out of 5

I saw these in the freezer section of my local Tesco and had to give them a try. 25-30 mins in the oven, and these little pale pillows of goodness fluff up into some awesome looking crispy pastries. The problem began when I cut into one. There’s an immense air packet inside each one; the… [Read More]

Island Delight Jamaican Brown Stew Lamb with Rice

Published on March 2nd, 2019
3 out of 5

8.5 mins in the microwave from frozen. Crap packaging, need to cut the film with a knife to get the contents out. Nice smell, quite sweet. “Spice Level: 3” (out of 3), according to the box. The result was disappointing, with only a touch of chilli that tastes vaguely Mexican. Has the richness of a… [Read More]

Nissin Soba Classic Noodles

Published on February 23rd, 2019
3 out of 5

Probably the best textured noodles you’re going to get in a pot. Whereas something like Pot Noodle is more like a broth and gets very wet, this one’s USP is its dryness – and it does give it a more authentic feel. The end result is quite an appetising looking stir fried brown noodles. The… [Read More]

ASDA Chicken Madras with Pilau Rice

Published on February 16th, 2019
4 out of 5

First of all, the packaging passes the quality test: easy peel film. No faffing around with adding water or anything either – just heat for 3 mins, stir, heat for 3 mins, eat. Fibre 6g (recommend 30g per day), so eat five of these and you’re golden, except you’d then be at around 175% of… [Read More]

Mug Shot Roast Chicken Pasta

Published on February 9th, 2019
2 out of 5

“Fill to 15mm from brim and boiling water. Stir thoroughly”. As you can see, it doesn’t apply to my Mr Handsome mug. This ended up being a weird soupy broth for my pasta, which somehow managed to stay crunchy despite the ocean of hot water each pasta tube was now sitting in. I was hungry,… [Read More]

Hungry Joe’s Chicken Curry with Rice & Naan

Published on January 26th, 2019
3 out of 5

I’ve not come across Seriously Hungry Joe’s before. With a name like that, it’s got an expectation to fulfil, and boy does it fill it. For a microwaveable meal, this is a big curry – there’s plenty of curry, plenty of rice, and a naan, which should leave you feeling pretty full. The downside is the… [Read More]

Feasters Big Eat Cheeseburger with Crispy Onions

Published on January 19th, 2019
3 out of 5

Lots of bits here – I feel like I’m assembling a lego set. And I also feel bad for the environment – all those sachets can’t be going anywhere good. After assembling my masterpiece, I took a big bite. The onions give a nice crunchiness that provide a contrast against the rubbery backdrop of the… [Read More]

Tesco Chicken and Asparagus Risotto

Published on January 12th, 2019
4 out of 5

Nice, simple instructions – 4 minutes in the microwave. Two things stand out for me: there’s quite a strong flavour of parsley (not a bad thing), and there’s plenty of chicken. Not sure if this is one of your five a day, but it feels healthy, and is 11% asparagus, with peas and other goodness packed… [Read More]