Fray Bentos Meatballs in Gravy

Absolutely VILE.

The first mouthful I took was a whole meatball- and I feel robbed on the “meat” part. This “meat” is akin to hotdog meat. Absolutely horrid. The texture is softer than banana, and it’s not as if the taste makes up for it.

It’s bland, with some artificial meaty smokiness somehow infused into its tofu-like texture. Cutting a meatball in half only confirms my worst suspicions as I see nothing that could pass as meat within it’s undesirable interior.

Even the SHAPE is uninviting; I’ve seen more edible-looking things coming out of my dog.

As soon as I opened the tin, I knew it would not end well. I hoped that heating it may make it magically transform into some gastronomic delight, but alas, oven hobs can’t work miracles.

This is the first time I have been unable to finish a meal I’m reviewing- to be able to tell you that I ate an entire half tin of this garbage is an achievement equivalent to climbing mount Everest. In a wheelchair. With one wheel.

For the love of God, if you MUST try this, don’t make the mistake of thinking it will go reasonably well with spaghetti- it won’t. If you’re unfortunate enough for this to be the last tin in your cupboard and you’ve maxed out your student loan, serve it with sautéed potatoes and cut the meatballs into less intimidating portions. Spice heavily. REALLY heavily.

Heed my advice- do not risk your life with this!